How Do Your ‘Friends’ Make You Feel?

“How to lose a friend” may seem like a strange title for a blog post. Why would anyone want to lose a friend, especially if you believe that person honors and respects you? Sometimes, we have to know when it’s time to let someone go.

Sometimes losing a friend is necessary to regain the Power that you inadvertently gave away to a person that you thought was your friend. While this may sound a bit confusing, unfortunately, it happens more often than we realize.

The Power we are referring to is when you give away your right to say no.

• When they have the ability to ask you to do things for them and when you do they don’t thank you or respond in kind.
• The ability to give you their opinion when you didn’t ask for it and then get angry when you do the same and the ability to waste your precious time because they don’t value your time as important as theirs.

How or why you lose a friend may seem like a scary proposition especially if you have been friends for many years. Losing a friend can be a devastating and heartbreaking experience although you may not notice it at first. It can also make you angry because you also have to recognize the part you played in having an unequal relationship with this person; as there are many aspects of the relationship you will have to review.

The bottom line is once you discover what is happening, you must take action. You have to consider what is in your best interest. Keep in mind your friend is not to blame. Friends come into your life to teach you something you need to learn about yourself. 

This can be stressful just like any other breakup.

Tips for How to Lose A Friend:

1. Most of us have had experience with so-called “friends”, however, the issue with them is that relationship is generally one-sided, unequal, imbalanced, you get the point.

• When they need something, you are there for them but when you call them all you get is a voicemail.  It may take them days to return your call or maybe they text or email you instead.
• So why do we put up with this kind of behavior? Is it a lack of self-worth or are you just “too nice” to say something?
• Now is the time to do some evaluations of the people you call your “friends.”

2. When was the last time you spoke to them?

• Actually, heard their voice on the phone or met with them in person?
• When was the last time you spent quality time with them? Why do you consider them friends?
• When was the last time both of you did things for each other?
• It’s time for you to figure out what qualities you need in a friend then ask yourself if your current associates measure up.
• These are some questions to think about as you evaluate if you should lose a friend from your circle.

3. To lose a friend from your circle may seem like a dreadfully uncomfortable task because it requires you to stick up for yourself, be a pillar of strength, as well as make a decision that you can not take back.

• But who is more important them or you? This is a life lesson for future friendships, you have the power to establish them any way you want. 
• How will your life change, how will your energy change if they are no longer a part of your “Worry Center”?
• What’s a Worry Center? A place where you store the people you care about.
• The belief is that if you care about someone you worry about them, sometimes to your own detriment.
• You check to see how they are doing, you help them when they need help; this requires some of your energy and time that you have to take away from yourself.
• So if you’re going to give that much of yourself to your friend(s), he or she better be someone who knows how to give equal amounts of that same energy and time back when you need it.

People come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Most of them are just passing through because of a need that you require at the time or for lessons you have not learned yet.

The ones that generally stay around longer are those that you have a lot in common with, those you hold in high regard, and those you hold onto for some reason.

However, if an individual is not adding to your life in any meaningful way then they are subtracting from your life in some way, so why are you holding on to that person? Raise your standards and new friends will come to answer your call.

Because your time, energy, and values are important to have a better life so use all of them wisely, and make sure your needs are being met as well.