Why Can’t I Have What  I Want A Boyfriend?

“I want a boyfriend” 

Our beliefs lead to our behaviors which lead to our results.

1. Attitude – Sometimes ego, bitterness, previous relationship dramas, and issues with our fathers cloud our feelings towards men.

• We can expand our negative energy for some men to all men leaving us wondering why we haven’t been on a date for years.
• We have negative conversations about men constantly, we may even encourage our friends to leave the men they are involved with and in some cases, this may be good advice.
• However, while we may mean well, that angry energy is building up around us like a fort, keeping us in and keeping men and love out. Or do think being alone is less stressful than being in a relationship?
• A fort, depending on how it’s constructed, may be impossible to penetrate and not too many men are going to want to put in that kind of effort.
• Also, your Attitude could be misconstrued as negative or overly difficult, if so, Men might feel like you don’t know how to have fun. 
• Your attitude may be a defensive mechanism that you are not aware of. Also sometimes a date is just a date, it doesn’t matter if he is not your normal “type” maybe he might change what you like. Are you ready to open your heart?

Boyfriend Solution:

A.) Be very careful with your words when you are talking about Men and relationships because words can bite not only others but you as well. Remember the life lessons you have learned so you won’t repeat your mistakes. 

B.) If you have negative feelings towards Men ask yourself why? You can’t change what you are not aware of. If necessary, seek counseling to heal those issues.

C.) If a decent Man asked you on a date go, sometimes we need to practice dating this helps us get to know men better and starts the positive energy to flow. Good energy attracts good things and people.

2. Communication – During previous relationships, communication could have been a weak area for you, and this left you feeling unheard, unfulfilled, and discouraged.

• For some women, sharing their feelings can be difficult therefore needs do not get met.
• Also, we may not want to say something that may cause that person to leave us, but in the end, he leaves anyway.
• The inability to express yourself when you are dating or in a relationship may be due to a lack of self-confidence or fear of expressing yourself.
• A man wants to know you can stand up for yourself because he doesn’t want his woman to allow men to prey on her.
• Low self-esteem is a general reason most of us do not speak up for ourselves. If you feel you have low self-esteem and you are ready to do something about it consider the information below. It’s a very stressful situation to be silent when you should be talking. 

Solution:

A.) Before you can communicate your needs, you must figure out what they are by spending some quality time with yourself.

B.) I believe in picking your battles but when it comes to getting what you want but you WILL have to speak up.

C.) You have the right to stand up for yourself regardless of who the person is that is mistreating you. Because you are beautiful and worthy and you deserve to be treated like a Queen and don’t let any Man treat you any other way!

3. Fear – This is the root of most things that cause our lives to be unsatisfying and frustrating.

• Fear can be masked by many things and the tape recording playing in our heads is constantly offering excuses to mask the real cause for us not moving forward in our lives.
• Oftentimes, we will defend our decisions in order not to be found out and we will create beliefs that will build barriers in order to keep us from having what we really want.

Solution:

A.) Write down your fears so you can see them on paper, this way you can deal with them one at a time.

B.) Remember that most fears come from either your traumatic experiences, friends’ experiences, and/or other experiences such as family members’ projecting their fears onto you, this is why it’s so important to figure out where your fears originated

C.) Things are not as bad as you think they are, so take one fear a month and try it, for example: if you are afraid of going out alone then go to a hotel bar and sit at the bar and order something.

• While there pay attention to your surroundings and try to stay for a least 30 minutes.

This is your life, you DESERVE to have everything you want and that includes having a boyfriend because you’ve been telling everyone that ” I want a boyfriend.”