COPING SKILLS, JOURNALING & SELF-LOVE

Coping skills is something everyone should learn during childhood. But, if your parents tried to minimize disappointments in your life by giving you everything you wanted, that was not a good thing.

During your life journey there will be many things that will not go your way, and most of them you can not do anything about. However, coping skills can be learned at any age but it may be uncomfortable at first. 

Self-love also depends on what others said about you and what you believe to be true about yourself. 

Using negative self-talk to describe yourself will create energy that makes what you think/say true. When you feel this way about yourself, you may find ways to make yourself feel better by projecting your pain onto others. 

Check out the video below and watch to the end to understand the meaning.

Self-love and coping skills are complementary to each other if you have both it will be easier to get through difficult times.

Below are six coping skills strategies to help you improve your ability to deal with disappointments 

1. Recognize that just because you want something it may not be the right time for you to have it. 
   • Everything is about timing, for example, I have a free mobile that was not getting the number of downloads I wanted.
   • Later, with just a few hundred players there were technical difficulties that put me in bad standing with the platform.
   • Thereby making me realized that the game was not ready for thousands of people playing it at one time. 
2. Pay attention to the signs
   • If you are trying to do something and you keep hitting a wall that probably means that:
     • Your performance is poor
     • What you want is not a good idea
     • You don’t have the money for it yet
     • You have a bad plan/strategy 
   • The signs are an indicator that something is off-balance so you should take a step back and review. 
   • Remember to be grateful and thankful for the good in your life.
3. Everything that looks good to you is not good for you
   • You have to always pay attention to the sign, this is especially true when it comes to love. You will definitely need good coping skills if a relationship ends.
   • What are the love signs that this person may not be right for you?
     • The person is always late
     • The person cancels dates frequently
     • The person disrespects others in front of you
     • The person is not honest
     • The person is already in a relationship
     • The person is creating chaos in your life
4. Love yourself enough to make good choices
   • Problems arise when bad choices are made like taking whatever kind of job, or not listening to your inner voice. 
   • Also, spending too much money for the wrong reasons like to impress others. Also, not figuring out how to make more money so you are not worried all the time. 
   • Trying to cope with poor money management is a hard one because the money you need does not appear instantaneously. Therefore, causing a lot of stress and regret. 
   • If you know there is a problem somewhere in life focus on changing it before it becomes bigger. 
   • There may have been mistakes you made in the past, if so, now is the time for you to forgive yourself and make amends if necessary. 
   • Take responsibility for where you are right now in your life and for what you do. Being honest with yourself will help you make different choices.
   • Take out your journal to revisit your past lessons/choices so you will not repeat them.
5. Experiencing any loss is hard but the way you approach can help ease some of the pain.
   • When you lose someone who you treated with love and respect that may make it easier to say goodbye. 
   • However, if you lose someone who you treated poorly that may make you feel guilty and regretful. 
   • If you have good memories with that person focus on them that will help you through the stages. Although everyone deals with grief differently so be aware of how it affects you.
   • Do not suppress your emotions, if you feel like crying or screaming or punching your pillow do it. Repressing your feelings is not good for your physical and mental wellbeing. 
6. Dealing with a changing world
   • Focus on what you can control in your world that will help you feel grounded. 
   • If there is something you are passionate about then find a way to join a movement or create your own.
   • Exercise whatever power you have to make a difference so you won’t have any regrets later.
   • Before you spend money on things like college do your research, such as how much money with this degree/vocation costs and how much can I make doing it. Because everything is about math so that is a good place to start when spending money on any big ticket item. 
   • Consider creating multiple streams of income by thinking of things you can teach others how to do, or sell products based on a passion such as painting, ceramic, crafts, etc. 

STAY AWAY FROM NEGATIVE COPING SKILLS

• Using substances to numb the pain.
• Too much entertainment to avoid dealing with the problem.
• Blaming others for your problems so you can feel better.
• Eating too much food for comfort

Self-love is hard for some people. It means you have to forget all of the negative comments others have said about you since you were born. And believe in yourself despite having flaws. 

Ways to Improve Your Self-Love

• Limit or eliminate the amount of time your spend with people that make you feel bad about yourself. 
  • In most cases, this is subtle by using backhanded compliments and praising others in front of you.
  • Also, they always ask you questions that make you feel uncomfortable answering especially around others.
• Pay attention to the words you use to describe yourself
• If you do not like something about yourself change it
  • You have the power to improve anything about yourself
  • Talking about it and thinking about something will not change it, only action.
  • Love, Forgiveness, Career Happiness Workbook helps you build a relationship will yourself so you can make better choices which creates a better future. It gives you journaling prompts and tests your coping skills. Get your copy here

Why should you start journaling?

1. It allows you to put your ideas to paper which can solidify them in your memory. If you only talk about what you want to do you will probably not do it.
2. You can create your present and future goals in your journal.
3. Emotions also should be written down so that they won’t live in your body and cause havoc on your health. Emotions are the powerful things you possess they can change worlds or destroy them. 
4. Building a relationship with yourself by taking out the time to write what matters to you and how you feel about yourself and why. This is where self-love begins because you need to be honest with yourself. Then figure out where the negative self-talk started so you can rid your life of it. 
5. Writing can show your growth over time, when you go back to read old entries you can see what you have accomplished and how your thinking has changed over time. 

When times are challenging ask yourself the following questions.

• What lesson do I need to learn from this experience? 
• Have I been in this situation before?

If the answer is yes, then there is a lesson that you have not learned yet. If you make the same choices you will get the same results.