Dating Married Men -Why It Hurts Your Self-Esteem

Do you Date Married Men?

If So, Why?

Dating married men is hurtful to all the women involved and is not an act of loving yourself. Self-esteem is crucial to having a good life because it affects all your decisions. Traveling this journey called life alone can be very difficult so sometimes we make choices that are not in our best interest.Dating married men is the ultimate Desperate Dater behavior because it’s devoid of personal values and or personal principles. Some of those principles might be, “I will finish what I start” or “I choose to act in ways that are self-loving.” We all have personal values and principles that govern our behaviors, however, when you permit yourself to become the third person in a two-person relationship without everyone’s consent, it may violate one of your values or principles even if you don’t consciously realize it.

Dating married men is stressful and not worth it!

The woman in the video below is not dating a married man but she is still a desperate dater. Also, shows how it affects the other woman.

Desperate Dating 

Do you know the definition of “Desperate”? Dating married men is a desperate dating action. When you take the time to research the exact meaning of a word as it relates to your situation, it sheds a whole new light on the issue and may force you to rethink your perceptions.Definition of “Desperate”:
  1. Reckless or dangerous because of despair or urgency: a desperate woman.
  2. Having an urgent need, desire, etc.: desperate for attention.
  3. Extreme or excessive.
  4. Having no hope; giving into despair.
Review the above definitions at least 3 times. Let them sink into your awareness so that you get a good understanding of what they mean and how they may apply to your dating habits.FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION When reading the definitions above, can you identify your current dating or past behaviors in them? Look at some of the words: reckless, extreme, excessive, dangerous, and despair. They are not very flattering, empowering, or self-loving but you purchased this Workbook so perhaps you’ve felt that something needs to change. You must be willing to admit to yourself that dating married men is a desperate dating behavior. You cannot change what you do not acknowledge and no one can change your dating-relationship life except you. We do not claim this to be an easy journey, as you will have to admit to unhealthy behaviors that now exist in your life. Try not to get stuck on this step because of the word “Desperate,” this behavior or state of mind will eventually become a thing of the past. You are strongest in your weakest moments not only because you will be able to endure and overcome them, but because they show you where your greatest opportunity for healing lies. Many women are desperate daters and as a result, have not had the opportunity to experience a fulfilling successful relationship, especially with themselves. Are you a Desperate Dater? Let’s find out.Take the Quiz: Am I a Desperate Dater? First things first: It’s time to start at the beginning. Before you go any further, do this quiz. This quiz is meant to simply bring you to a place of awareness regarding some of your dating/relationship habits. You will need your journal for this quiz and all other quizzes/exercises to come.Directions: 1). For each question, answer “Yes” or “No”. 2). For every “Yes” answer, 1 point. 3). Total your “Yes” answers at the end. Avoid overthinking the questions.  Be HONEST and go ahead and answer the following questions.

Are you now or have you done the following?

___ 1. Given a man your body without truly knowing who he was as a person? ___ 2. Ever let a man you don’t know, who has never taken you out on a date; constantly come over to your home to have sex, then leave? ___ 3. Dated a man that cannot commit to you because he’s committed to another? ___ 4. Dated a man that cannot take care of himself so you take care of him? ___ 5. Dated or continue to date a man that was/is physically, mentally, and emotionally abusive to you? ___ 6. Continually dated a man that you have caught in several lies because you believe you like/love him? ___ 7. Been afraid to tell a man what you are looking for in a partner/mate/lover/husband? ___ 8. Chosen a man out of desperation or fear of being alone? ___ 9. Rationalized away or made excuses for his negative behaviors instead of trusting your instincts? ___ 10. Chased men instead of allowing a man to chase or court you?Your total: _____If you answered “Yes” to 3 or more questions, you ARE a “Desperate Dater”. After answering the above questions, you might say to yourself, “There’s nothing wrong with sleeping with men I don’t know because I have needs too”. If you have chased men in the past, you might ask why men get to have all the fun and what’s wrong with approaching a man that you find attractive. If you are a woman that does not like being alone, you may be a “serial dater,” or date unavailable men. You might also think, “who wants to be alone, and if his woman is not handling her business (meaning her man) that’s not my problem”.  We sometimes tell ourselves these things to feel better about the decisions we are making, even though deep down we know it does not serve us and we deserve better.What excuses do you use to tell yourself while dating married men?
  • He will probably cheat with someone why not me
  • It’s okay as long as his wife doesn’t find out
  • Maybe he will leave her for me
  • He said she doesn’t make him happy

Questions to ask yourself when Dating Married Men

  1. How do you feel when he can’t spend time with you due to family obligations?
  2. How would you feel if your relationship caused a broken family?
  3. How would you feel if you were the wife and your husband was cheating on you?
If the answer is “NO,” then why would you participate in cheating with a man that is not your man? Remember life teaches us lessons so that we won’t repeat our mistakes. Women all over the are a Community. It does not matter if we know each other, we all go through similar struggles no matter what language we speak or what country we’re from.In the Community of Women, we need to become more aware of how we teach each other, talk to each other, and treat each other. We have to be accountable for our actions to ourselves and to the Community of Women.Source: LOVE, FORGIVENESS, CAREER, HAPPINESS WORKBOOKEach time you allow a man to hurt your feelings by not protecting yourself, when he leaves, a small part of your self-esteem leaves with him.

Take The Oath

Love, Forgiveness, Happiness, Career - 12 Steps GuideIn Love, Forgiveness, Career, Happiness, we ask you to take an Oath, not to DATE Married Men. Why? Because you DESERVE BETTER and being in the DARK when you deserve the LIGHT is not something we can’t swallow. You DESERVE a MAN of your own, a Man that will cherish your feelings, make time to SPEND with YOU, and be COMMITTED to YOU.So now we are asking you to take the Oath right now, right here on the Website.Just click the OATH linkOne of the ways you TAKE BACK CONTROL OF THE DATING GAME is to hold yourself to a HIGHER STANDARD.MEN can not CHEAT if women refuse to become to be a PARTICIPANT.When you look in the mirror you should see someone that you are proud of; it matters what you see more than anyone else.If you see someone you don’t like very much then it’s time to do some work.Dating Married Men I suggest you start with making some PLEDGES to yourself that you will say in the mirror every morning until they become habits.All is good in the world until your previous actions come back to haunt you when you catch your MAN with another woman and then you’ll be saying “Now I know how she felt.”In the video below, the man says a woman should wait a least sixty days to have sex. But, Steve Harvey says to wait ninety days. Now, if MEN are telling you to wait, you should wait, and if that man wants to leave because you won’t sleep with him when he’s not the man for you.One of the pledges is “I will stop dating married men.”