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Self-Reflection & Personal Growth Platform

Are You A Desperate Dater? Review The Behavior List

Feeling Stuck In Your Life


Being “Desperate” is not something we are usually aware of because it hides in the background and can develop due to abandonment issues, anxiety, fear, and low self-esteem.

Many of us don’t want to acknowledge that fear and low self-esteem are unfortunately and unconsciously driving our choices, behaviors, and actions.

A Woman may be very interested or not so interested in a particular man, yet because of fear and low self-esteem, she may behave in a Desperate manner not realizing that her actions are being perceived as Desperate.

“Desperate” is not exactly the kind of word we would use when we think about ourselves, however, we all have moments of Desperation for any number of reasons. What are some of those reasons? Well, there’s…

Here is what a desperate dater looks like.

1. Dating Unavailable Men.
2. Getting pregnant by a Married Man or a Man who is otherwise committed.
3. Allowing a Man to treat you less than you deserve. For example, not spending quality time with you; just wanting to “hang out” at your home instead of taking you out on dates.
4. Buying gifts for Men you do not know or you have not established a committed relationship with them.
5. Paying for your half of the bill. This should only happen once because after that you should be moving on if he’s not willing to court you in a proper manner. A man that asks you out on a date should pick up the tab because that’s what gentlemen do, especially if they’re looking for a good woman. If there’s a time when you’re first dating that you have to pick up the whole bill, run girl, run.
6. Not allowing a man to be a man or gentleman by opening doors for you, buying you gifts, etc, because you are not able to receive without giving or you fear being vulnerable.
7. Giving a Man that is not your husband or significant other, money and becoming his mother; by doing his laundry, cleaning his house, letting him drive your car, etc.
8. Emailing, calling, and texting a man because he’s not emailing, calling, or texting you.
9, Chasing a man that has rejected you or is ignoring you. 
10. Meeting a man on an Internet Dating Site and letting him come over to your house on the first date.

My hope is that women will learn to treat themselves better because they are all beautiful and deserving women. This means being aware of your self-esteem and self-worth. Sometimes, you don’t know your self-esteem is low so pay attention to how you allow others to treat you. 

However, remember this, it is your responsibility to show a Man how to treat you. If you allow a behavior once, he feels that you will accept it again and again.

It is time to ask yourself if you are allowing him to treat you poorly because you are suffering from low self-esteem which is the primary ingredient for Desperate Dating.

When you become aware of your power and are determined that you will not put up with certain behaviors from men, one of two things will happen:

1. he will either step up to the plate and treat you the way you deserve to be treated, or

2. walk away. If he walks, let him go; because it’s better to be alone and available to find a good man rather than to be hanging onto a piece of a man.

  • Because a piece of a man does not really want you, he just gets what he can get until he finds someone better.
  • Every time you let a man mistreat you, your self-esteem takes another hit, which means you may miss out on a good man because he’s looking for a confident woman.