HOW TO END A RELATIONSHIP 

Another term for coming to the end of a relationship is “The Relationship Blues“. We have all been there at one time or another and some of us are going through this now.  Ending a relationship is hard especially if you’ve been together for a long time. 

If you are in a relationship that you feel is no longer in your best interests or the two of you have grown in different directions, and you don’t know how or are not comfortable ending it, what should you do?

Ask 10 different people and you will probably get 10 different answers.

You will most likely have some feelings left over or you may not want to hurt the other person’s feelings so you stay put a little while longer hoping that you’ll find an amicable way to end the relationship.

Or, maybe the other person will decide to end it, releasing you from the anguish of lingering guilt for hurting another human being. Most of us have or will encounter “The Relationship Blues” but the question is: what will you do when it’s YOUR turn?

Ending a relationship does not have to be dramatic, ugly, or abusive, which is unfortunately how some couples choose to dissolve their union and then they live with the lingering bitterness and anger for many years later.

Such a large number of people leave their relationships feeling like issues have not been resolved or settled and that feeling can obviously drag over into the next relationship.

Keep in mind: this is NOT a blame game. It will take reflective time for both partners to ponder and own responsibility for their own behaviors and why the relationship may have ended in the first place.

The closer you can get to discussing what happened and parting on good terms, the better.

Check out this video of a woman struggling to end a bad relationship.

Tips for Ending a Relationship:

1. First and foremost, ask yourself this important question:

• Why did you get into the relationship in the first place?
• Try to actually, list the reasons in your journal or on a piece of paper.
• Why should you do this? If the relationship is not working out then you want to know why you made the choices you made so you won’t make the same ones again.
• Why did you get into the relationship in the first place?
• Try to actually, list the reasons in your journal or on a piece of paper. Why should you do this?
• If the relationship is not working out then you want to know why you made the choices you made so you won’t make the same ones again.

2. Ask yourself why you really wanted out of your relationship?

• Was it realistic?
• Did one or both of you have hidden agendas?
• Were the two of you actually compatible or were you just infatuated with some aspect of the person that made them seem irresistible?
• What has changed from the beginning of the relationship, when you were so “in love”?
• A relationship will go through many changes over time just like human beings. So it may be that this is the dilemma: you may have both changed, but not in the same ways.

3. What are the reasons you are afraid to break away?

• What is the worst that can happen if you say goodbye to each other?
• Honestly, address any fears you have that may have an impact on your next relationship.
• This could be anything from having to start over to being afraid of living alone.

4. Plan ahead before you walk out the door.

• Some people stomp out of the relationship without a clue as to where they are going or what they are going to do next. See if you can actually plan ahead.
• Start by writing down what you want which is different from what you already have. You will have to do some serious thinking about this trip.
• For example: maybe you want to start a new career, try a new lifestyle, or start a small home-based business. While you may not achieve your plan before the two of you separate, at least you will have an idea of what your next move might be.

5. If you are leaving one relationship to go into another make sure you are truly ready.

• Rebounding and getting involved with another person too soon can lead to more heartbreak, especially for the unsuspecting new love.
• Sometimes we can lose who we are without realizing it because we haven’t had sufficient time alone.
• Maybe you take a vacation alone, to clear your head and to gain perspective on yourself and what happened at and at the end of your relationship.

NOTE: Once your relationship is over, you’ll need this – HOW TO GET OVER A BREAKUP

When we enter that relationship fork in the road, it is hard to take the new road and leave the old road behind. The old road has memories, emotions, and experiences that have made us who we are today.

Being alone again may also be difficult for some and refreshing for others, however, whatever your circumstances may be, just remember things are generally never as frightening as we imagine them to be. Keep an open mind, an open heart, and just have FUN!

Some relationships are hard to end especially if they are abusive. PLEASE be careful and get support if you are in an abusive relationship.