Let Go of the Past and Reclaim Your Life

What would happen if you let go of the past? The past is about memories, that you visit when you need to in order to remember those lost, fun experiences or learn what not to do today.

Living in the past can create all types of problems because you can get stuck on a person, situation, or event that may have been hurtful. If you are constantly thinking about the past, how will it affect your present?

Life is all about energy. Energy attracts and repels things based on your emotions.  Living in the past can negatively affect your emotional state.

15 Ways to let go of you past

1. Write down the things in the past that you have a hard time letting go of.

   • To let go of the past, you must be honest with yourself.
   • What are you gaining by not letting go of the past?
     • Do you get sympathy from others?
     • Do you get to blame others for your current situation?
     • Do you use the past as a way to make excuses for why you can’t do things in the present?

2. Ask yourself why you are holding on to past hurt, and or guilt.

   • You can get stuck on how a person made you feel when you were in a relationship, but you can’t replicate it in the present.
   • The past is not always all about pain, you may have been popular in high school during the 80s, and now you are stuck in that decade.  However, it is difficult for you to see what this decade has to offer.
   • To let go of the past means to allow peace to come into your life.

3. If you are not sure whether you live in the past, ask your family and friends.

   • Awareness is the first step toward change.
   • People can get irritated when you talk to them about the same things all the time.
   • They will be happy to point out the past things that you are fixated on.
   • You may have heard someone say let go of the past and move on.

4. If you are constantly single, the why, lives in the past.

   • If you had a painful relationship, the ghost of it could still be haunting you.
   • Pain manifests itself in a lot of ways that you may not be aware of.
   • Evaluate all of your past relationships in chronological order so you can see your pattern of behavior. This exercise is about you learning how the past is affecting your present choices.
   • Do you use others’ past actions and then compare them with your current romantic partner?
   • Or if you are struggling in life, you putting the blame on someone from your past. This puts the control of your life in someone’s hands.
   • Instead, take responsibility for your choices regardless of the outcome, this is why you can’t let go of the past.

5. If you are struggling with low self-esteem, now is a good time to understand how that is affecting your life.

   • Low self-esteem will stop you from experiencing life to the fullest because you think this or that is not for you.
   • In the past, you may have been put down by the people closest to you, your parents.
   • Or you may be suffering from abandonment issues and you keep yourself closed off so that won’t happen again.

6. Identify the specific situation or person that keeps you stuck in the past.

   • For example, you and your ex-partner had a traumatic relationship that has left a strong imprint on you.
   • A parent called you demeaning names like “dumb” and “stupid” and now you feel you can not do anything right.
   • A bully tormented you during middle school and it still affects you today.
   • If you forgive and let go of the past, you free yourself of that burden.

7. Every time a negative thought about the past comes into your mind write it down, or if you talk about the past.

   • Write on your phone’s memo section the date and the time you had the thought or conversation.
   • This will tell you how much this particular past event is interrupting your life.
   • Over time you can see a pattern in your behavior and hopefully connect the dots to how it stopping you from moving forward.

8. Replace the negative past thoughts with gratitude about the present.

   • Every time you right your past thoughts on your phone, also write something that you are grateful for.
   • Start being grateful for the small things in life, like good health, supportive friends, a loving family, etc.

9. Focus on what needs to change in your life.

   • If you don’t like your job, what should you do?
     • What do you enjoy doing even if you don’t get paid for it, like baking, or organizing?
     • Research new careers to see if there is something that fits you better.
     •  Start a side hustle, like Youtube, Etsy, or eBay.
     • Take an online course or get coaching to start a new career path
     • Refocusing your attention on a  current problem will keep your mind occupied.

10. Consider letting go of friends who encourage you to talk about the past, or who make you feel bad about yourself.

    • Letting go of the past will be more difficult if you hang around with people who also engage in this type of conversation.
    • Also, people, especially family can use the past to control or manipulate you.
    • If they make you feel small compared to them, do not allow it,  you deserve better.

11. Don’t harp on what if you did this or that then things would be different.

    • If you did not do it then it does not matter.
    • Instead, start doing it now to see the future results.
    • For example, if you dated a person from your past then life would be different today. But today, you may not be able to date that person. Therefore, you can determine what qualities made the person attractive to you and look for that in a new partner.

12. Write down the lessons you have learned from the past.

    • If you do not learn from the past you will probably repeat those same mistakes.
    • This will teach you how to be more mindful of your current and future decisions.
    • What you do today will affect your future so make your choices wisely.

13. Use the past to motivate you in the present.

    • Use past disappointments, sadness, or anger as motivation to change something about yourself.
    • If something happened in the past and it’s still happening that means there is something you need to change about yourself.

14. Seek professional help if you can not get over the past by yourself.

    • This is one of the main reason therapy exist, it’s a safe place to share the thoughts that have been consuming your life.
    • Talking about your pain is the first step in understanding it and releasing it.
    • This is your personal business, you do not have to share the fact that you have a therapist with anyone.

15. Forgive yourself and others for their past transgressions.

    • Forgiveness is not about others it’s about releasing and moving on.
    • When it comes to other people, we have a tendency to think everything they do is personal, but that is not always the case.
    • Forgiving yourself helps you understand that mistakes will happen because life is all about learning from them.

Letting go of the past may seem difficult but these steps will help you navigate the journey. This is about creating a better, happier future for yourself, and you are worth it.