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Self-Reflection & Personal Growth Platform

I Don’t Know What To Do With My Life

I Don't Know What To Do With My Life

I Don’t Know What To Do With My Life

I don’t know what to do with my life can be a lifelong journey but the questions in this article will help you discover things you did not know about yourself. Answer these questions his a journal or notebook. But, you must be committed to completing this exercise.

Love, Forgiveness, Happiness, Career - 12 Steps Guide

The source of this exercise: Love, Forgiveness, Career, Happiness – 12 Step Journey To Creating An Amazing Life


There are 7 core areas with several questions for you to ponder in each one. Remember: you want to be in a place where you can focus your energy on what you’re doing. If you can focus while sipping a latte in your local coffee house, then great.

However, gauge your emotions before you go to a public place, just make sure you feel safe and secure wherever you decide to do this exercise. I don’t know what to do with my life creates a feeling of being lost and insecure about your future. Clarity is the foundation of progress which helps create happiness.

Core Area #1: Health, Wellness & Fitness

It requires self-esteem and strong motivation to take the steps needed to make any major changes in one’s life. It requires us to confront the real reasons and issues behind that “Why?” However, ask yourself this: Isn’t having a dislike for your body enough of a reason to do something about it?

One major issue is this: most of us rationalize our feelings away to make ourselves feel better temporarily. We don’t offer ourselves long-term solutions; only short-term patches to shore up conditions needing long-term solutions. Remember: as the years pass, issues like weight add up, which can become challenging to take off and keep off.

Answer the following questions:

  • Do you exercise?

–  How many times a week and for how long?

–     Are your muscles tight and your body stiff making you inflexible?

  • Are you struggling with being overweight?

–     Overweight is defined as being “above and beyond” what is considered “healthy” for your height and age.

  • What is your “ideal” weight?

–     Do you feel that it’s realistic and achievable?

–     If “Yes”, are you willing to make the changes needed to achieve that goal?

  • Do you have difficulty breathing after walking a few flights of stairs or from your car to the front door?
  • Is eating unhealthy food more important than my body’s health and well-being?

–     Do I use excuses to eat poorly?

–     Unhealthy food is defined as foods that are deep-fried, grease-laden, over-processed, pre-packaged, sugared up… You get the point. Do you use the excuse, “I grew up eating these kinds of foods”, or “It just tastes so good”?

  • Do you eat fruits and vegetables daily? (The real kind, not the pop-tart kind)

–     Do you use the excuse of being a “picky eater” to avoid consuming them?

–     Do you binge on sugar/carbohydrates (i.e. sweets, candy, coffee drinks, soda, potatoes chips, etc. aka, emotional eating)

  • Do you like the way you look from behind? Don’t know? Go to the nearest full-length mirror and take a real look.
  • Do you like the way you look in your clothes?

–     Do you like the way you feel in your clothes?

–     Do you buy clothes that fit you correctly or do you buy trends, not caring if they are too small or too tight?

–     Do you buy clothes only because they’re on sale or they look cute, not caring whether or not how they fit?

Core Area #2: Your Spiritual Self

Our spiritual self is often neglected. We hear the voice of our spirit, that quiet, sometimes screaming voice and then we promptly ignore it. We choose to stay separated and disconnected, believing that our minds and egos have all the answers to our challenges.

When we are out of balance, our stress levels will rise. Our bodies will reflect the lack of attention we are giving to ourselves. Minds become cloudy and befuddled. Our energy becomes cloaked and heavy. We become angry and frustrated at the chaos in our life yet we don’t slow down long enough to simply just LISTEN to the solutions.

  • How do you connect with yourself on a deeper level? What techniques do you use?
  • Do you bother to connect with yourself on a deeper level at all? Do you believe it is a waste of time?
  • Do you ever sit in silence and listen to your inner voice? Do you heed its wisdom?
  • When was the last time you connected to your inner voice?
  • Do you ignore your inner voice because it’s telling you something you don’t want to hear?
  • Can you tell if and when you are stressed or having health challenges or crises due to stress? List your stress indicators in your journal. You know what they are.
  • How long have you been having your stress indicators? Don’t be shocked if it has been months or maybe even years.
  • Do you know of ways to relieve your stress?
  • Do you practice them or just read about them in books and magazines, promising yourself someday you’ll get to them?
  • What techniques do you use? Are they effective or is it time to seek new ones?

–     Do you meditate or have a way to center and ground yourself daily?

  • Do you practice this consciously or by rote?
  • Is it time to seek out another method, that is effective, useful, and user-friendly?

–     Do you practice yoga or any type of meditative, connecting, or grounding exercise? If “yes”, what do you do? Is it effective or do you need to find other methods?

Stress is a silent killer. There is a gap of time between chronic stress and when disease/illness shows up in your body. Ten to thirty years may pass while you ignore the subtle signs that things are not well within your body.

Not listening to our instincts or rationalizing them away leads to making mistakes that can cost us a lot of misery. This is an area that tends to be really out of balance in many women’s lives. When we are out of balance, we are disconnected. This is the connection you have with yourself as a member of this planet, the Universe, and with your body. This connection is an essential building block for you to learn to LOVE YOURSELF.

Core Area #3: Finances, Abundance, Prosperity

Subconsciously many of us believe we are unworthy and undeserving; also known as having low self-esteem. We hoard out of fear of not having enough. Sometimes we fear having too much. Then out of anger and jealousy, some of us spend our time following, watching, reading, admiring, and hating people with money.

Other influences on our beliefs and perceptions include the media and banking institutions. Credit cards and lines of credit are offered, that we know we cannot afford, and yet, we take them anyway. Society tells us the ways to get out of and pay off our debt and then turns around the next minute presenting us with the temptation to get right back into debt. It’s a vicious cycle of debt slavery that is considered “the American way.” No wonder we’re so confused about money. No wonder, financially, we are where we are today.

Take time to consider the following:

  • Are you saving for emergencies or the future? Do you save any money at all?
    • Do you give away money to others to increase your abundant flow or do you horde for fear of not having enough?
    • Do you ever give your money, time, or energy freely and unconditionally to your spiritual sources, charitable/grassroots organizations, family, or even friends?
    • Have you ever bought or do you buy things to impress others or to keep up with “The Joneses”, even though you know you cannot afford them?
    • Are you familiar with 401k, Roth IRA, or any type of retirement program? Do you participate in them or do you have an alternate retirement savings program?
    • Do you know the difference between assets and liabilities? Which do you have more assets or liabilities?
    • Are you debt-free, close to being there, or are you drowning in it without a lifejacket? Have you sat down and added up how much money you owe, so that you have a clear picture of the amount of debt for which you are currently responsible? Have you developed a plan for getting debt-free or sought out a financial advisor to assist you?

–     Are you living paycheck to paycheck?

–     Do you have any kind of system that helps you to track your expenses so that you are aware of exactly how much you’re spending each week or even every day?

  • Have you been honest and upfront about your financial responsibility to others? If you owe people money and have not repaid them, why not? Holding out of fear of having enough blocks your own abundant and financial flow.

If your answers to these questions are more “No” than “Yes”, keep in mind you could have some real problems in your immediate future if you don’t choose to change your relationship with money right now. It’s time to start healing this area of your life.  Also, think about these questions:

  • What is your relationship with money? Do you get angry when you don’t have enough or get anxious when you have too much?
  • How did your parents/grandparents/caregivers handle money? Are you following in their footsteps? This takes some observing your behavior and how you speak about money.
  • What are your beliefs about money?

–     Do you have children? What are you teaching your children about money?

The issue of money and finances is a distastefully heavy topic for many women because many of us don’t understand the energy of money or how abundance flows in, out, and around our lives.  If your mother instilled the idea that you always need to take care of yourself, more than likely she was not speaking of wearing your money but rather sharing, saving, and investing. The responsibility, proper handling, and managing money were not something that was taught to many of us.

There may be plenty of you who have memories of momma telling you that a man is supposed to provide for you, that he’s the breadwinner in the family.  This belief has left many women out in the cold when that man decides that he wants to move on to “greener pastures” and take his money with him.

To be an empowered woman, you must have a stable and functioning financial base that will be able to support you when it is called upon. Take stock of where your finances are right now. This can be a shocking experience. However, you must begin at the beginning. Include all unpaid loans and any money you owe family and friends.

This is the only way for you to begin taking control of your financial future. Living paycheck to paycheck is a recipe for disaster. Begin to educate yourself on money and finances. We live in an informational age and all you need is right in front of you on the Internet.

Core Area #4: Romance

I’m going to skip this area but check this article

I Don't Know What To Do With My Life

Core Area #5: Careers & Dreams

Most of us grew up with multiple ideas of what we wanted to be in life. Some of those ideas were slapped down and stepped upon by our parents. Then we were told we had to take a more “traditional” route to make it in life. Our parents, in their way, had good intentions.

They wanted to make sure we had a solid source of income and did better than they did. However, in the process, many of us had our creativity squashed, our visions blinded and our dreams ended up dissolving like mist in the hot rising sun.

We relegated our heart’s desire to a locked chest and shut it away out of sight. Then there were those of us who were allowed to live freely and were even encouraged, to follow our dreams no matter the cost. Which group were you in? Where are you now?

  • What did you want to be when you grew up?

–     Get your Guided Journal and list 5 imaginary lives you wanted to live no matter how ridiculous they sound. This exercise was introduced by Julia Cameron in her book, “The Artist’s Way”.

–     Now, list 5 lives or dream careers you desire to live now no matter how ridiculous they sound.

  • Are you living one of those dream careers/lives or have you settled for something else?

–     If you settled for something else, why did you make the choice, and how does that make you feel?

–     Would you be willing to make and take one solid step toward realizing that dream?

  • Do you believe you deserve to have the life you want to live?

–     What are you passionate about?

–     Are you so passionate about a particular thing that you would do it for free?

  • Are you too comfortable at your job? Being too comfortable is the killer of dreams because you stop moving forward.
  • Are you living your life to satisfy others instead of yourself?

–     Have you given up what you want to do because others told you it was a dumb idea, stupid, or unrealistic?

–     Are you doing the job you have now solely for the money to pay bills? Are you happy there or do you spend time wishing you were somewhere else?

Many people dislike or even hate their jobs and they feel stuck because of the pile of bills that are mounting at home. However, hating one’s job and mounting debt does not stop most people from spending, which they need to do to change their situation. Remember to be honest with yourself because this is your life. If you don’t like the way things are going, then it’s time to make firm changes. You must live your life your way and for yourself. Anything else is living a lie.

Core Area #6: Relationships

This area examines relationships with people other than intimate/romantic ones. These are your family members, friends, business associates, and co-workers. These relationships tend to make up a much larger part of your life than intimate ones will. You’re with your co-workers 8 to 10 hours a day at your job.

You may live with family or see them frequently for get-togethers and outings, same for your friends. The strength or weakness of the relationship you have with all of these people may have affected other areas of your life. Acts of kindness towards others and speaking kind words about others say more about you and your character than anything else you may do.

Unfortunately, many of us take the people in our lives for granted so we don’t spend enough time nurturing our relationships. We forget that nothing lasts forever. However, we sometimes treat the people that we love as if they will live forever. Why? Maybe some of us feel that work is more important than family and friends, or maybe there is a grudge that is left unsettled and it’s used as an excuse not to call, write or visit.

Perhaps this is one of the causes why people in romantic relationships have a hard time lasting: all relationships require effort to get going, be maintained, and become deeper. If you are unwilling to put in the work required, do not be upset if others don’t either.

Someone has to take the first step in mending or maintaining any relationship. If someone dares to step up, the other person (s) will usually follow. There may be some forgiving to do in this area if you have not already done it in the forgiveness exercise. Don’t let the years or people pass by without remembering that they were here. Ask yourself the following:

–     Do you have respectful and generally peaceful relationships with your friends, family members, and co-workers, or are you constantly at odds with them?

–     How do you treat your co-workers and how do they treat you?

–     Do you have supportive friends or friends who support you when it’s convenient for them?

–     How do you make others feel when they are around you? Do people disappear when you show up or are they visibly glad to see you? Are you easy to speak with or are you a nagger or know-it-all?

–     Do you speak respectfully of others or do you gossip and rip them down with your words?

Core Area#7: Personal Development

Personal development is a lifelong adventure. When we stop evolving, we stop living. Learning new skills keeps your brain flexible and creates new neuron pathways. It keeps our minds young and our spirits lively. Consider and answer the following:

  • Is there a special skill or skill you would like to learn? What’s stopping you? Money? Time? Other excuses? Get out your journal and list them so you can see them on paper.
  • Take one skill you want to learn and research it.
  • Where is it taught? Anywhere local?
  • How much does it cost? Do they offer payment plans? Try emailing a few friends with your interest; you may be surprised at who and what people know, including the friends you thought you knew!
  • You are not afraid, are you? Where there’s a will, there’s a way…
  • Are there things you would like to improve about yourself that may help you get to the Next Level at work, at play, or to catch the man of your dreams?
  • Do you need to improve your level of confidence, self-esteem, self-worth, and deservedness to obtain your goals?
  • Do you need to learn better communication & listening skills?

To improve takes constant care, work, and focus on yourself and your life goals. Loving yourself is at the heart of Personal Development. It’s the willingness to be open, learn, and evolve. It’s sad when we hear women giving up because they lack the courage to try something new, even something that they said they want to do, learn, or experience.

We know you’ve heard the sayings, “Talk is cheap” and “Actions speak louder than words”. It’s better not to talk about something if you don’t have the drive to do it since people tend to remember what you say.

We all have friends, family members, and associates that spend large amounts of time talking about what they are going to do; yet that’s all they seem to do. We all want to say, “Shut up already, you are never going to do that”. If you are that person who constantly talks about what they’re going to and you never get around to it, either learn to follow through with your word or be a grown-up and remain silent.

These 7 core areas are just a few sections of your life that will need to be reviewed, examined, and probably improved for you to have a more fulfilled life.

These are self-reflection questions rather than “who to blame” questions. The examples are universal and most of us are deficient in one or more areas. More often than not, women neglect to address and heal areas of our life that need working on. We’re more into fixing others’ problems than our own.


The phrase I don’t know what to do with my life should be a distant memory after completing this exercise. If you answered all the questions you should have a better understanding of yourself. If not there is more work to do, I recommend getting the workbook to gain more clarity.