How To Get Over Someone You Dated
How to get over someone you dated depends on how much you liked that person. It is hard to let go of someone you cared about regardless of who broke off the relationship.
You always have to protect your self-esteem because it impacts all the decisions in your life. Learning why the relationship ending should occur so that you can discover what worked and what didn’t. But, always be kind and compassionate to yourself and avoid blaming yourself or your ex for every mistake made.
Check out this therapy clip from LOVE THERAPY shows a woman struggling to get over a man who cheated on her.
THE POWER OF OXYTOCIN
There is a hormone secreted by all women called Oxytocin. Oxytocin is released during hugging and touching. Oxytocin is involved in sexual arousal, bonding, increasing trust, increasing empathy towards another, love, orgasm, and the birthing process.
So here’s the scoop: if you continue to have sex with this or any other MAN, this hormone CAN and WILL cloud your judgment; causing you to bond with a man who is probably not in your best interest. As you know, there are plenty of examples of what can happen in a relationship when you are with the WRONG MAN. It has ruined a lot of women’s lives and in some cases; it has cost women their lives.
If you answer, “Yes” to one or more of the following questions YOU WILL NEED TO DETOXIFY (CLEAR & CLEANSE).
1. Have you recently gotten out of a relationship with a man? (Within the last 6 months.
2. Have you been having sex with a man that you were not in a relationship with?
3. Are you broken-hearted and rebounding from relationship to relationship?
4. Do you BLAME MEN for everything that has gone wrong in your relationships?
Choosing to stop having sex while evaluating your “Love Life” is a personal choice; however, you must realize that you will be unable to obtain any clarity or understanding unless you STOP having sex with him.
After stopping sex, there are three choices you can make:
1) Ask him for a commitment
2) Walk away from the relationship
3) Start sleeping with him again.
How To Get Over Someone You Dated
First, you must cut off ALL communication with him, which includes his friends, family members, and co-workers, if you’ve ever met them. Essentially, this will be anyone with whom he associates and who could influence you in any way. So hey, let’s be more specific with regards to cutting off ALL communication:
- AVOID accepting phone calls, texts, emails, or letters from this man. Immediately DELETE any text messages he sends you without reading them. If necessary, either block his number on your cell phone or call your cell phone carrier and have his number blocked. Seriously.
- DELETE any voicemails he leaves you (or anyone else in his circle) before listening to them because he will use his charm, his voice, and the words you want to hear to get you to come back and let him back into your life.
- DELETE any emails he sends you without reading them. Erase him from your email contacts so that he (friends, family, and co-workers included) cannot IM you.
- UNFRIEND him and his friends, family, and co-workers on your Facebook, Twitter, Facebook, and any other online accounts where you can receive unwanted communications.
The previous actions may seem extreme or even drastic; however, all the above communication methods can and will weaken your resolve, causing you to question and challenge your decision to walk away. Your mind and your ego will start playing tricks on you, leading you to start playing tricks on yourself by telling yourself you’re overreacting.
Or if he broke off the relationship, you might try to find ways to change his mind thus damaging your self-esteem and self-respect.
Yes, people are going to be angry with you when you begin cutting the lines of communication and that can show up in many ways. However, you must consider what is at stake. There have been many other women who have had to travel this road of clearing toxic relationships and people out of their lives. They did it successfully and so can you.
Do not talk to his friends, they are on his team and will assist him with getting you to change your mind. They may mean well, but they do not know what is best for you, only you do.
Seriously ask yourself these questions:
- Do you want to be with a man that does not want to commit to you?
- Do you want to be with a man that does not treat you the way you desire to be treated?
- Do you want to be with a man so much that you are willing to compromise your dignity, sacred self, self-esteem, and self-worth to be with him?
“Trust in yourself. Your perceptions are often far more accurate that you are willing to believe.” ~Claudia Black
Process Your Emotions
Don’t ignore your emotions by acting tough, let your body feel and release.
- Avoid making major decisions: It’s important to avoid making major decisions during this time, such as moving to a new city or starting a new job. Allow yourself to take some time to process your emotions and gain clarity before making any big changes in your life. Rushing into major decisions can lead to regrets or additional stress in the future.
- Practice gratitude: Practicing gratitude can help shift your focus from what you’ve lost to what you still have in your life. Make a list of things you’re grateful for each day, no matter how small they may seem. This can help you feel more positive and hopeful, and bring a greater sense of meaning and purpose to your life.
- Create new routines: Creating new routines can help you establish a sense of stability and structure in your life after a breakup. Consider trying a new hobby or activity, or revisiting old ones that you enjoyed before the relationship. This can help you rediscover your own interests and passions, and create a sense of excitement and possibility for the future.
- Give yourself time: Healing after a breakup takes time, and it’s important to give yourself the space and time you need to grieve and process your emotions. Be patient and kind to yourself, and trust that with time and effort, you will eventually find a sense of peace and closure.
Letting Go of Guilt
It’s easy to take on all the blame for the breakup or blame your ex.
- Challenge your negative self-talk: It’s common to blame yourself for the end of a relationship, but try to challenge negative self-talk and take a more objective perspective. Consider what external factors may have contributed to the breakup, and remind yourself of your positive qualities.
- Reframe the breakup: Instead of viewing the end of the relationship as a failure, try to reframe it as an opportunity for growth and self-discovery. Focus on the new possibilities that may open up for you as a result of the breakup.
- Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness practices, such as meditation or deep breathing, can help you stay present and manage difficult emotions. Try incorporating a mindfulness practice into your daily routine to help you let go of guilt and move forward.
- Set boundaries: If your ex-partner is still in your life, it’s important to set boundaries to protect your emotional well-being. Consider limiting contact with your ex, or setting clear boundaries around communication and interactions. This can help you let go of guilt and focus on your own healing and growth.
Reflection & Closure
Closure is hard because you may the other person to be clear about what happens in the relationship, however, that rarely happens.
- Reflect on the relationship: Take some time to reflect on the relationship and what you learned from it. What were the positive and negative aspects of the relationship? What did you gain from it and what did you lose? This can help you gain clarity and insight into what you want and need in future relationships.
- Write in a journal: Writing can be a helpful tool for processing your emotions and gaining perspective. Consider starting a journal to reflect on your feelings, thoughts, and experiences during this time. Writing can help you release emotions, organize your thoughts, and gain insight into your own patterns and behaviors.
- Seek closure: Closure can be an important part of the healing process after a breakup. This might mean having a conversation with your ex-partner, writing a letter that you don’t send, or engaging in a symbolic ritual that represents letting go. Whatever closure looks like for you, be sure to honor your own needs and feelings.
- Look to the future: While it’s important to reflect on the past, it’s equally important to look to the future. Consider what you want for yourself and your life moving forward, and create actionable steps to make those intentions a reality. This can help you feel more in control and empowered as you navigate the post-breakup period.
How to get over someone you dated is a journey for some and a couple of days of reflection for others. But, if you are struggling with a breakup it’s okay to allow yourself to feel it. Also, follow whatever of the above actions that work for you.