Emotional Cheating

Emotional cheating occurs when one partner invests emotional energy and time into someone else, outside of the committed relationship, in a way that undermines the emotional intimacy of the relationship.

Here are 21 signs of Emotional Cheating:

1. You find yourself thinking about the other person constantly.
2. You’re always excited to see or talk to the other person.
3. You feel like you’re hiding something from your partner.
4. You share personal information with the other person that you don’t share with your partner.
5. You compare your partner to the other person.
6. You feel like you can’t be yourself around your partner.
7. You’re more interested in spending time with the other person than with your partner.
8. You’re more emotionally invested in the other person than in your partner.
9. You’re keeping your communication with the other person a secret from your partner.
10. You feel guilty or ashamed about your relationship with the other person.
11. You’re more attracted to the other person than to your partner.
12. You’re emotionally dependent on the other person.
13. You feel like you’re in love with the other person.
14. You flirt with the other person.
15. You feel like you have a special connection with the other person.
16. You prioritize the other person over your partner.
17. You daydream about being with the other person.
18. You’re not interested in being intimate with your partner.
19. You make excuses to spend time with the other person.
20. You feel like the other person understands you better than your partner does.
21. You’re willing to risk your relationship with your partner to be with the other person.

Unfortunately, it’s hard to control attraction, and sometimes you may not know what is about this person.

RELATED: Why Are Relationships So Hard?

6 ways to refocus your attention

• Be spontaneous, and plan surprise outings so you can make fun memories to think about.
• Increase your intimacy by spending more time hugging, kissing, talking, and cuddling.
• Create a once a week date night
• Start or increase your weekly self-care routine.
• When your mind starts to drift where it shouldn’t read a book.

If the above does not work and depending on your proximity to the person you’re attracted to do this instead.

• Keep your distance if he or she works with you.
• Limit your interaction if that person is around your family.
• Put up boundaries if that person is flirting with you.
• Take a break and go somewhere by yourself to figure out what you want to do.

Questions to ask yourself:

1. Are dissatisfied with your partner?
2. Are you still attracted to your partner?
3. What are the qualities of this other person that you find attractive?
4. Is the person worth losing your partner?
5. Does your partner give up enough attention/intimacy?
6. Do you think your partner is boring?
7. Is your life boring and you are looking for someone to spice it up?
8. Are you trying to sabotage your relationship because you want to end it?

Getting to the bottom of why you are attracted to this person may help you in redirecting that energy back to your relationship.

It’s important to note that emotional cheating can be just as damaging to a relationship as physical cheating. If you suspect that you or your partner may be emotionally cheating, it’s important to communicate openly and honestly with each other and seek the help of a therapist if necessary.

But, you have to decide if you want to keep your relationship or move on.

Check out the movie below Love Therapy. The title is in Spanish but the dialogue is in English. Love is a messy business for this overworked therapist who also struggles with finding and keeping love.