Why Do You Want To Get Married?

Love and Marriage can be a difficult road to travel but when love lasts only days or months, was it “true love” or something else?

• How does one know when they are actually “In Love”?
• Is it because you can’t stop thinking about that person? That could also be classified as an obsession.
• Is it because of the way that person makes you feel when you are around each other?
•  Is it sexual chemistry because you can’t take your hands off each other?
• That could also be lust. Is it love or just a chemical reaction?
• If it’s just a chemical reaction, it would explain why so many marriages fail or love can blind us from the truth.

Many couples fail to have the necessary talks before deciding to tie the knot. Find out how married couples make it work.

And while you’re not going to solve every single problem before you get married, you can get some of the big ones out of the way.

Too many couples wait until things get to “deal-breaker” status and rather than tell the truth and work through the issues, they decide it’s easier to just end the relationship.

One of the biggest tasks that don’t happen as much as they should is the money talk. Each person in the relationship has every right to find out what kind of financial state the other person is in, and NOT after you’re married.

Even if he’s the man of your dreams, do you want to inherit his $60,000 in student loans? Ask yourself the hard questions. If not, are you ready for Love and Marriage?

 Tips on Love and Marriage:

• Make sure you have “the talks” before saying the “I dos.”
  • What are “the talks”?
  • Those conversations about compatibility and if the two of you are facing in the same direction.
  • For example, are you both spenders or is one of you a saver?
  • Is one or both of you carrying a bunch of financial debt?
  • Do you like to exercise and he’s a couch potato?
  • Do you like to travel and he doesn’t?
  • Are you a very clean person and he’s not?
  • If you think these don’t matter it’s because you haven’t moved in together yet.
  • And there are couples who run into this AFTER they move in together.
  • Communication and Negotiation are possible as long as both parties are willing to do if fairly and maturely.
• Do either one of you have Life goals, if you both do, are they complementary?
  • You want a career as Professor that specializes in music theory and the best school is in Maine but he has a career as a Police Officer so he can’t move as freely.
  • What do you do?
  • Give up your dream for him or have a long-distance marriage?
  • This was the main theme in the recently released movie “The 5-Year Engagement”.
  • In the cases of celebrities, they may have the same careers (movies and music) but it keeps them apart for months at a time.
  • Relationships need constant attention to keep a deep connection; they only work if you can be supportive of one another and meet each other needs.
• Then there are those pesky habits that can get in between the loving of couples.
  • She drive me mad when she does ____________ or he makes me pull out my hair when he does____________.
  • How do you manage those especially when you don’t even know what they are?
  • First, there is irritation, then negotiation, compromise, patience, and finally acceptance because he IS going to leave the toilet seat up no matter what you say or do.
• Let’s not forget your sex drive; this is not the same for everyone but it’s an integral part of a relationship and let’s face it no one likes rejection, especially from their partner.

While I want you to have the love life you’ve been dreaming of, you must make sure that you are not unconsciously trying to live out a fantasy in your head.

Remember Romantic Comedies are movies that skip the middle of a relationship because you don’t get to see what happens after the screen fades to black.

Disagreements happen. Life happens. Take the time to honestly communicate and have those necessary conversations so you can make sure that you two want the same things.

Everyone deserves happiness but you have open to compromise and negotiation if you want an open, honest and loving relationship that will stand the test of time.