Overcoming a Toxic Relationship

Overcoming a toxic relationship can be a challenging and emotional process. But, you need to do the work so the situation won’t affect your love life moving forward.

Overcoming a Toxic Relationship -Here are 17 helpful ways to move on and heal:

1. Acknowledge and accept that the relationship was toxic

It’s important to recognize and accept that the relationship was toxic, and that it was not healthy for you.

Signs of a toxic relationship are:

• Your ex-partner tried to control you
• Your ex-partner used manipulation to get what he or she wanted.
• Your ex-partner used guilt or withheld affection as a way to lower your self-esteem, which is emotional abuse.

Overcoming a toxic relationship will be challenging but you can do it by taking one step at a time.

Evaluate your emotions:

• Reflect on how you felt during the relationship.
• Did you feel anxious, unhappy, or unsupported?
• Did you feel like you were always walking on eggshells, or you couldn’t be yourself?

Consider the impact on your life:

• Think about how the relationship impacted your life, both during and after the relationship.
• Did it negatively affect your mental health, physical health, or other relationships?

2. Cut off all contact with your ex-partner

This will help you to distance yourself from the toxic relationship and start to move on.

• This includes his friends and family.
• Unless you have a child or children with your ex-partner.
• If you have children then this is something you will have to navigate carefully.

3. Seek support from friends and family

Reach out to loved ones for emotional support and to help you through the healing process.

• However, do not spend your time bad-mouthing your ex-partner.
• This will turn you into a victim.
• You have power and strength so believe in that as you heal.

4. Talk to a therapist

A therapist can provide professional guidance and support as you work through the aftermath of a toxic relationship.

• Therapy is about discovering more about yourself.
• Also, how and why you chose, respond, and react to situations in your environment.
• If you have a child or children you will want to go to family therapy.
• Your children will need healing as well so that they can form better loving bonds in the future.
• Therapy doesn’t always work but it will teach you how to evaluate your future choices and understand yourself better.
• Also for anything to work, you have to want to change.

5. Start Journaling

Writing down your thoughts and feelings can help you process and release them.

• Keeping things inside your body is not healthy.
• This also helps you spend quality time with yourself so you can understand yourself better.
• Write down any lessons you’ve learned along your journey.

6. Focus on self-care

Prioritize taking care of your physical, mental, and emotional well-being.

• This can be a hard one if you are not used to pampering yourself.
• Here are some ways you can focus on self-care
  • Taking bubble baths to destress and relax.
  • Creating an anti-aging-skin care routine
  • Trying a new hairstyle
  • Taking regular walks around your neighborhood, a park, or the beach.
  • Reading self-help books.
  • Eat healthier foods that fuel your body with energy.

7. Take up a new hobby or activity:

This can help you to focus on something positive and build new connections and experiences.

• Or rekindle your passion for an old hobby or activity.
• Doing something positive with your time stops your mind from drifting back to the past.

8. Practice mindfulness and meditation

These practices can help you to stay present and reduce feelings of anxiety and stress.

• Mindfulness will help you make better choices.
• Ways to practice mindfulness
  • Engage your senses by paying attention to sounds, tastes, and smells.
  • Slow down your eating to enjoy the taste of your food.
  • Take the time to connect with your body with deep breathing exercises and stretching.

9. Set boundaries for yourself

Identify what you’re willing to tolerate in future relationships and set boundaries to protect yourself.

• Your journal is a great place to discover your boundaries for everyone especially when it comes to love.
• Boundaries are a sign of assertiveness and strength and you should set them for everyone in your life.
• Everyone is trying to meet their own needs so you have to make sure you protect your time, space, money, etc.

10. Learn to love yourself again

Focus on your positive qualities and practice self-love and self-compassion.

• Rebuilding your self-esteem is an important aspect of healing.
• Your self-esteem will determine what you decide to do and not do in your life.
• Self-esteem determines whether you will take on new challenges that stretch your comfort zone.

11. Avoid jumping into a new relationship right away

Take time to heal and focus on yourself before entering a new relationship.

• Getting into a new relationship right away may result in repeating the same or similar situation again.
• If you do not take the time to understand the signs your ex was giving you that you missed, you may choose that type of person again.
• Also, you need time to focus on your emotional well-being so you can be grounded in who you are, and what type of person is right for you. 

12. Stay positive and focus on the future

Remember that you deserve to be happy and that you can create a positive future for yourself.

• But, it may require some time to figure out what you want.
• Remember, you have the power to design your life the way you want it.
• Overcoming a toxic relationship is a day-by-day process.

13. Forgive yourself and your ex-partner:

Forgiveness can help you to release negative feelings and move on.

• Instead of only focusing on the pain, look for the lessons that the relationship taught you.
• Overcoming a toxic relationship requires forgiveness, if not, you will transfer that pain into future relationships.
• This is especially true if you have a child together and you still have to interact with this person.

14. Decide what to do with any physical reminders of the relationship

Get rid of any physical items that remind you of the toxic relationship.

• If you have pictures, gifts, or clothing that remains from your toxic relationships decide if you want to keep them.
• If you decide to keep them ask yourself, why.
• And will keeping them, keep you connected to that person, and the past?
• If you have a child together then that is a different situation with other things to consider.

15. Find a support group

Connect with others who have gone through similar experiences to share and gain support.

16. Stay busy and productive

Keep yourself busy with work, hobbies, and other activities to avoid dwelling on negative thoughts and feelings.

• If you have a child with this person and there are not actively involved in their child’s life don’t harp on that.
• Instead, find activities for you and your child to enjoy together so you both can heal.

17. Take things one day at a time

Healing from a toxic relationship is a process, so be patient with yourself and take things one day at a time.

• Do not be too hard on yourself
• Treat yourself with kindness each day.
• Don’t spend your time, your days, or your energy beating yourself up because of your choices.

RELATED: Why Are Relationships So Hard?

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